Trump to lead Thunderbird Super Bowl 51 flyover
by Chris Lemay
(NRG Stadium, Houston Texas)
White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer announced a short time ago that President Trump will lead this year’s Super Bowl flyover as Thunderbird 1. Lt Col Jason Heard, the previous commander of the U.S. Air Force’s elite Thunderbird Air Demonstration Squadron, was relieved of command earlier today after he refused to allow President Trump to fly as mission commander and lead pilot.
Heard, callsign Shifty, released this statement to the Air Force Times shortly after he was relieved of command. “President Trump has absolutely no flight experience, yet alone at the controls of a high-performance panty dropper like the F-16. Let me be clear, this ain’t a Boeing 757. Sunday’s fly over is going to be a real shit-show, a total charlie-foxtrot.”
Spicer reiterated to members of the media that everything is under control and to not take this incident out of context. “The President has 50 years of experience kicking ass and taking names. It is categorically impossible for his ego to write checks that his body cannot cash. Have you seen the President’s bank account? It’s huge! He can write checks all day. All day!”
When pressed for details regarding the President’s qualifications as a pilot, Kellyanne Conway stated that the President has “alternative qualifications” and that they are exceptional.
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