by Maxwell Paddington WASHINGTON, D.C. -- White House Press Secretary Jen Psaki was replaced today by a wacky waving inflatable arm flailing tube Continue Reading
Biden Approval Rating Tops 11,500%
by Maxwell Paddington WASHINGTON, D.C. -- After just two weeks, Joe Biden has already reached levels of public support his predecessor can only Continue Reading
B-52s Fly Over Middle East as Iran “Executes” First Phase of COVID Vaccination Plan
by Maxwell Paddington WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Department of Defense officials announced today that B-52 bombers flew over the Middle East as part of Continue Reading
21,000 National Guard Troops Authorized to Celebrate Biden Inauguration
by Maxwell Paddington WASHINGTON, D.C. -- According to the National Guard Bureau, (NGB) Army Secretary Ryan McCarthy has authorized 21,000 National Continue Reading
Thousands Storm Capitol to Claim $600 Stimulus Checks
by Maxwell Paddington WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Thousands of Americans rushed the Capitol Building yesterday to enthusiastically claim their $600 Continue Reading
COVID-19 Relief Bill Includes $10M for English Language Gender Studies Program
by Maxwell Paddington WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The latest Covid-19 relief bill includes $10M for a gender studies program aimed at assigning each word Continue Reading
Netflix Negotiates Deal with CNN, Fox News, and Others for More “Inexhaustible” Content
by Maxwell Paddington LOS GATOS, CA -- In a stunning move, Netflix signed a multi-billion dollar deal to acquire content from several media Continue Reading
CDC Recommends 70 Million Americans Test for STDs Following Election Results
ATLANTA, GA -- The CDC announced today that it modified its STD testing guidelines amid accusations that previous recommendations were bigoted, Continue Reading
Hollywood Announces Relocation to Beijing, Diversity Quotas Easier to Meet Under One China Policy
by Maxwell Paddington HOLLYWOOD, CA -- “The Big Six,” movie studios: 20th Century Fox, Paramount Pictures, Warner Bros., Universal Pictures, Continue Reading
Mainstream Media Elects Biden in Landslide
by Maxwell Paddington WASHINGTON, D.C. -- While a majority of 270 electoral voters is required to elect the president, the mainstream media has Continue Reading