GSA Scrambles to Fill Flashlight Orders: Solicits Customer Feedback in Search of Cause for Skyrocketing Demand
by Untactic Al
October 5, 2019
WASHINGTON, D.C. – The GSA (General Services Administration) issued the following press release late yesterday notifying customers that an item from the Global Supply Catalog is out of stock and experiencing long lead times:
NSN 6969-OU812-OOOH Flashlight, non-powered, is unavailable for order until adequate stock levels are restored.
Customer demand outstripped initial provisioning estimates and stock levels depleted within a matter of days for the single units as well as the pack of twelve. GSA stocks over a hundred different types of flashlights but this NSN has proven more popular than all other types combined. Orders have shipped all over the world with remote and deployed locations seeing higher demand.
GSA buyer analysts would like feedback from users as to why this particular NSN is preferable to the other flashlights in the system. You can contact a customer service representative or use the contact page on our website to provide your input.
We will notify customers once adequate stock levels are restored.
We apologize for any inconvenience and appreciate your patience.
Bertwyn Regalo
GSA Customer Communications
UPDATE: The incorrect nomenclature was published and we apologize for the error. The correct item is: NSN 6969-OU812-OOOH Fleshlight, non-powered.
Bertwyn Regalo just received notification that
item NSN 6969-OU812-OOOH is scheduled for
delivery to her office next Tuesday.
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Prior to joining the Article 107 News Team, Untactic Al had a controversial and checkered 36-year career in the United States Air Force. He recently received his DD-214 blankie. The fact that he made it as far as he did merely illustrates the incompetence of his leadership.
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Article 107 of the military’s Uniform Code of Military Justice covers “False Official Statements.” As our name implies, we are a satirical site, and you shouldn’t think anything we publish is real. You should, however, mercilessly mock anyone who does. You can follow Article 107 News on Twitter at @Article107News. If you’re looking for real news, check out our sister site The Havok Journal. Or you can visit us on Facebook or follow us on Twitter at @HavokJournal.