by Maxwell Paddington WASHINGTON, D.C. -- White House Press Secretary Jen Psaki was replaced today by a wacky waving inflatable arm flailing tube Continue Reading
Politics
Biden Approval Rating Tops 11,500%
by Maxwell Paddington WASHINGTON, D.C. -- After just two weeks, Joe Biden has already reached levels of public support his predecessor can only Continue Reading
21,000 National Guard Troops Authorized to Celebrate Biden Inauguration
by Maxwell Paddington WASHINGTON, D.C. -- According to the National Guard Bureau, (NGB) Army Secretary Ryan McCarthy has authorized 21,000 National Continue Reading
Thousands Storm Capitol to Claim $600 Stimulus Checks
by Maxwell Paddington WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Thousands of Americans rushed the Capitol Building yesterday to enthusiastically claim their $600 Continue Reading
COVID-19 Relief Bill Includes $10M for English Language Gender Studies Program
by Maxwell Paddington WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The latest Covid-19 relief bill includes $10M for a gender studies program aimed at assigning each word Continue Reading
CDC Recommends 70 Million Americans Test for STDs Following Election Results
ATLANTA, GA -- The CDC announced today that it modified its STD testing guidelines amid accusations that previous recommendations were bigoted, Continue Reading
Mainstream Media Elects Biden in Landslide
by Maxwell Paddington WASHINGTON, D.C. -- While a majority of 270 electoral voters is required to elect the president, the mainstream media has Continue Reading
Dictator Voted Out of Office, A Historical First
by Maxwell Paddington WASHINGTON, D.C. -- For the first time in history a dictator voted into office has apparently been voted out of office. "Most Continue Reading
Hunter Biden’s Laptop Enters Witness Protection Program
by Maxwell Paddington WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The FBI announced it transferred custody of Hunter Biden's laptop to the U.S. Marshals Service yesterday Continue Reading
Merriam-Webster Updates Entry on ‘Gaffe’ a Week Before Election
by Maxwell Paddington SPRINGFIELD, MA -- Merriam-Webster updated its definition and usage guidelines of the term "gaffe" to say its use is "widely Continue Reading