Biden Narrowly Wins Argument with Trump Mannequin, Dem Strategists Say "No Need" for Further Debates by Maxwell Paddington WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Democratic … [Read More]
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Biden “Gaffes” Decoded by NSA, Determined to be Family Recipe for Delicious Word Salad
Biden "Gaffes" Decoded by NSA, Determined to be Family Recipe for Delicious Word Salad by Maxwell Paddington WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Wednesday, former VP Joe Biden … [Read More]
SecDef Launches DoD-Wide “Non-Offensive” by Effectively Banning Confederate Flag
SecDef Launches DoD-Wide "Non-Offensive" by Effectively Banning Confederate Flag by Untactic Al Last week the SecDef issued a stunning new policy which will no … [Read More]
At Last! The World is Finally Awokening to Cancel Culture
At Last! The World is Finally Awokening to Cancel Culture by Untactic Al Due to the outrage of a small percentage of the world population over certain historical … [Read More]
Surgeon General Issues New Warning: Quitting U.S. News Media Now Greatly Reduces Serious Risks to Your Health
Surgeon General Issues New Warning: Quitting U.S. News Media Now Greatly Reduces Serious Risks to Your Health by Maxwell Paddington June 25, 2020 WASHINGTON, … [Read More]
Trump Designates U.S. News Organizations as Foreign Missions
Trump Designates U.S. News Organizations as Foreign Missions by Maxwell Paddington June 23, 2020 WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The Trump administration announced on … [Read More]
U.S. Military Bases to be Renamed after Disney Princesses
Military Installations to be Renamed after Disney Princesses by Maxwell Paddington June 12, 2020 WASHINGTON, D.C. (Pentagon) -- In an effort to increase … [Read More]
Democrats Accused of Cultural Appropriation by “Insomniacs,” a New Far Left Movement
Democrats Accused of Cultural Appropriation by "Insomniacs," a New Far Left Movement by Maxwell Paddington June 10, 2020 WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Yesterday, Nancy … [Read More]
Religious Services Now Permitted, After Identifying as “Social Justice Protests”
Religious Services Now Permitted, After Identifying as "Social Justice Protests" by Hugh Jashol June 8, 2020 TAMPA, FL -- It seems like just a few short weeks … [Read More]
2020 U.S. Census Abolishes Racial Demographics, Replaces “Race” with “American”
2020 U.S. Census Abolishes Racial Demographics, Replaces "Race" with "American" by Maxwell Paddington June 8, 2020 WASHINGTON, D.C. -- In a landmark decision, … [Read More]
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Democrats Accused of Cultural Appropriation by “Insomniacs,” a New Far Left Movement
Democrats Accused of Cultural Appropriation by "Insomniacs," a New Far Left Movement by Maxwell Paddington June 10, 2020 WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Yesterday, Nancy Pelosi and other Democratic lawmakers announced police reform legislation following weeks of … [Read More]
2020 U.S. Census Abolishes Racial Demographics, Replaces “Race” with “American”
2020 U.S. Census Abolishes Racial Demographics, Replaces "Race" with "American" by Maxwell Paddington June 8, 2020 WASHINGTON, D.C. -- In a landmark decision, the U.S. Census Bureau will no longer include racial demographic data, instead tracking "race" … [Read More]
Religious Services Now Permitted, After Identifying as “Social Justice Protests”
Religious Services Now Permitted, After Identifying as "Social Justice Protests" by Hugh Jashol June 8, 2020 TAMPA, FL -- It seems like just a few short weeks ago that Americans were getting arrested for the "crime" of gathering to worship in defiance … [Read More]
Mr. Biggles Revealed as “Defund the Police” Mastermind, Part of Plan to Install Adorable Fascist Regime
Mr. Biggles Revealed as "Defund the Police" Mastermind, Part of Plan to Install Adorable Fascist Regime by Maxwell Paddington June 7, 2020 WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Yesterday, authorities arrested Mr. Biggles, who was charged with masterminding the "Defund … [Read More]
Supreme Court Designates Straight White Males a Protected Group
Supreme Court Designates Straight White Males a Protected Group by Maxwell Paddington June 5, 2020 WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Today, the Supreme Court ruled 9-0 designating straight white males a "protected group". A protected group or protected class is a … [Read More]
World Health Organization Acknowledges “Violent Rioting” Totally Cures COVID-19, NC Public Health Officials Demonstrate Proper Self-Application
World Health Organization Acknowledges "Violent Rioting" Totally Cures COVID-19, NC Public Health Officials Demonstrate Proper Self-Application by Hugh Jashol June 2, 2020 GENEVA, SWITZERLAND -- It turned out that the cure was right in front of us, all … [Read More]
Minneapolis Mayor Limits Looters to 25 Per Store, Citing COVID Concerns
Minneapolis Mayor Limits Looters to 25 Per Store, Citing COVID Concerns by Hugh Jashol (Minneapolis, MN) Minneapolis Mayor Jacob Frey announced today that while rioting, looting, arson, and murder would be allowed to continue unchecked in his city, local … [Read More]
Mississippi Mayor Resigns Amid Outrage Over George Floyd Comments, “I will always surrender to the mob mentality”
Mississippi Mayor Resigns Amid Outrage Over George Floyd Comments, "I will always surrender to the mob mentality" by Maxwell Paddington May 29, 2020 PETAL, Miss. -- Hal Marx, mayor of Petal, Mississippi, accepted calls for his resignation after he made … [Read More]
Pro-Police Demonstrations Erupt in Minneapolis and Los Angeles, Showcase Life without Law Enforcement
Pro-Police Demonstrations Erupt in Minneapolis and Los Angeles, Showcase Life without Law Enforcement by Maxwell Paddington May 28, 2020 MINNEAPOLIS, MN – Pro-police demonstrations highlighting law enforcement's vital role in society took place … [Read More]
As India Curries U.S. Favor, Chinese Takeout Military Action along Contested Border
As India Curries U.S. Favor, Chinese Takeout Military Action along Contested Border by Maxwell Paddington May 27, 2020 LADAKH, INDIA -- Earlier this month, 150 Indian and Chinese soldiers fought over disputed territories in the Pangong Tso lake and Naku … [Read More]
