Crown Royal “Repurposing” Distilleries to Make Corona Masks by Hugh Jashol High school keg party staple Crown Royal whiskey has announced that it is supporting … [Read more...]
Country Outraged to Learn Trump’s Military Hospital Ships Contain Only Motrin, Extra Socks
Country Outraged to Learn Trump’s Military Hospital Ships Contain Only Motrin, Extra Socks by Hugh Jashol NEW YORK, NY - Citizens across the nation were outraged … [Read more...]
National Guard Members Supporting Corona Fight Thrilled to Learn They’re “Not the Military”
National Guard Members Supporting Corona Fight Thrilled to Learn They’re “Not the Military” by Hugh Jashol New York City mayor Bill DeBlasio has a history of … [Read more...]
COVID Casualty: Hooters Switches to Delivery-Only; Changes Name to “Knockers”
COVID Casualty: Hooters Switches to Delivery-Only; Changes Name to “Knockers” by Hugh Jashol Over the past month, the COVID-19 Chinese coronavirus has taken a … [Read more...]
Army’s New “AIM 3.0” Assignment Process Only has Options for Ft. Polk and Ft. Bliss
Army's New "AIM 3.0" Assignment Process Only has Options for Ft. Polk and Ft. Bliss By John Chandler March 23, 2020 FORT KNOX, KY - Leaders from the Army’s … [Read more...]
California is First State to Declare Itself a Coronavirus Sanctuary
California is First State to Declare Itself a Coronavirus Sanctuary by Maxwell Paddington March 20, 2020 SACRAMENTO, CA - California governor Gavin Newsom … [Read more...]
Coronavirus Traced to Beer, Pizza and “Special” Garlic Dipping Sauce from Wuhan China
Coronavirus Traced to Beer, Pizza and "Special" Garlic Dipping Sauce from Wuhan China by Untactic Al March 16, 2020 Unless you are living in a cave at the … [Read more...]
Awkward Specialist Spends 4-Day Weekend in Barracks
Awkward Specialist Spends 4-Day Weekend in Barracks by Hugh Jashol February 15, 2020 FT. HOOD, TX - Saying that he was "totally cool" with the situation … [Read more...]
Valentine’s Day Ruined by Fort Bragg Prostitution Sting
Valentine's Day Ruined by Fort Bragg Prostitution Sting by Hugh Jashol February 14, 2020 FORT BRAGG, NC - Following up on earlier reports by the … [Read more...]
The Fighter Pilot’s Valentine Day Gift Guide
The Fighter Pilot’s Valentine Day Gift Guide by Hugh Jashol February 13, 2019 FIGHTERTOWN, USA - Surprise and impress your significant other this … [Read more...]
Lawsuits vs. Military Spouses Surge as the Dependapotamus Competes with Cro-Dependas for Resources
Lawsuits vs. Military Spouses Surge as the Dependapotamus Competes with Cro-Dependas for Resources by Untactic Al February 11, 2020 Newly minted Army male … [Read more...]
U.S. Navy Arms Submarines with Lasers to Counteract “Sharks with freaking laser beams on their heads.”
U.S. Navy Arms Submarines with Lasers to Counteract "Sharks with freaking laser beams on their heads." by Untactic Al February 7, 2020 According to a recent … [Read more...]
Archeologists Discover Ancient Roman S.H.A.R.P. Program had Mixed Results
Archeologists Discover Ancient Roman S.H.A.R.P. Program had Mixed Results by Untactic Al February 6, 2020. In late 2019 Italian archaeologists uncovered a … [Read more...]
USAF Leaders Impeached Following Recent Command Climate Survey
USAF Leaders Impeached Following Recent Command Climate Survey by Untactic Al February 3, 2020 JOINT BASE LANGLEY-EUSTIS, VA (1st Fighter Wing) - Shockwaves … [Read more...]
1st Veterinarian Special Operations Group “Extracts” Punxsutawney Phil’s Genetic Code to Aid in Weather Operations
1st Veterinarian Special Operations Group "Extracts" Punxsutawney Phil's Genetic Code to Aid in Weather Operations by Untactic Al February 3, 2020 From the … [Read more...]
Trump to lead Thunderbird Super Bowl Flyover
Trump to lead Thunderbird Super Bowl Flyover by Chris Lemay February 2, 2020 HOUSTON, TX - White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer announced a short time ago … [Read more...]
Entire US Marine Corps Deployed To Fight Cononavirus, After Scientists Discover Alcohol Kills It
Entire US Marine Corps Deployed To Fight Cononavirus, After Scientists Discover Alcohol Kills It by Hugh Jashol The novel coronavirus is rampaging throughout … [Read more...]
Trump Orders Controversial “Mass Tac” Airfield Seizure Demonstration During Superbowl Halftime Show
Trump Orders Controversial "Mass Tac" Airfield Seizure Demonstration During Superbowl Halftime Show by Hugh Jashol It's official: in a record-setting first, the … [Read more...]
Deployed Army Specialist Excited for Super Bowl’s AFN Commercials
Deployed Army Specialist Excited for Super Bowl’s AFN Commercials by Chris Lemay February 1, 2020 BAGRAM AIR BASE, AFGHANISTAN - The Super Bowl, to its many … [Read more...]
U.S. Space Force Claims Stunning First Victory with Few Troops and No Tangible Weaponry
U.S. Space Force Claims Stunning First Victory with Few Troops and No Tangible Weaponry by Untactic Al U.S. Space Force 31 Jan 2020, Press Release Gen Buzz … [Read more...]