Air Force Deploys Next Generation Drone: The MQ “Peaceful Protestor”
by Maxwell Paddington
WASHINGTON, D.C. (PENTAGON) — Department of Defense (DoD) officials announced Tuesday that the U.S. Air Force is deploying its next generation of drones to the Middle East and elsewhere. Dubbed “The Peaceful Protestor,” the new weapon system represents the culmination of months of research, testing and analysis.
“This revolutionary approach to target elimination results in near-zero media criticism when unavoidable collateral damage occurs,” said Gen. M. Eddie Matters. “In many cases media coverage is even positive,” he added.
“Research began in May of this year,” said Gen. Matters. “The Peaceful Protestor is similar to other drone platforms with a key, closely-guarded secret for obvious national security reasons. Furthermore, the upgraded technology costs are negligible.”
The MQ Peaceful Protestor is slated to replace the following U.S. Air Force drone platforms:
- MQ-1 Predator
- RQ-4 Global Hawk
- RQ-7B Shadow
- MQ-8 Fire Scout
- MQ-9 Reaper
- RQ-21 Blackjack
- RQ-170 Sentinel
Defense analysts predict that, barring significant changes in MSM, pilots will be replaced by Peaceful Protestors within a decade.
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An Article 107 News Publication
Article 107 of the military’s Uniform Code of Military Justice covers “False Official Statements.” As our name implies, we are a satirical site, and you shouldn’t think anything we publish is real. You should, however, mercilessly mock anyone who does. You can follow Article 107 News on Twitter at @Article107News. If you’re looking for real news, check out our sister site The Havok Journal. Or you can visit us on Facebook or follow us on Twitter at @HavokJournal.
