Crown Royal “Repurposing” Distilleries to Make Corona Masks
by Hugh Jashol
High school keg party staple Crown Royal whiskey has announced that it is supporting the COVID-19 effort by repurposing its distilleries to turn out masks made from the liquor’s famous purple bags.
The masks have proved so successful that Crown Royal is flying off liquor shelves all across America so that consumers can repurpose the bags into surgical-quality protective masks. It has gotten to the point military retailer AAFES has limited the buying of Crown Royal to only two bottles per military identification card, and only for the purpose of securing the purple bags to be remade into masks… which is probably the only reason troops are buying that stuff in the first place.
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We actually like Crown Royal whiskey… and think whoever made the first mask out of a Crown Royal bag is a genius. Stay safe out there, friends.