National Guard Members Supporting Corona Fight Thrilled to Learn They’re “Not the Military”
by Hugh Jashol
New York City mayor Bill DeBlasio has a history of saying really dumb things, a trait that was highlighted during a Sunday talk show when His Honor repeatedly made the claim that the National Guard “is not the military.”
Well, Mr. Mayor, the National Guard most certainly *is* part of the military. So is the Reserves. They enlist in the military, they wear the military uniform, and they undergo military training. The fact that they do it part time doesn’t diminish their service.
"The National Guard is NOT the Military" NYC Mayor De Blasio
"The National Guard is NOT the Military" NYC Mayor De Blasio
Posted by Angry Cops on Monday, March 30, 2020
https://www.facebook.com/AngryCops/videos/388661322017058/
Mayor DeBlasio’s comments unleashed a torrent of outrage from America’s active duty force, which normally enjoys any reason to bag on the “Weekend Warriors” and “Nasty Girls” of the National Guard. But in a surprising twist, National Guardsmen, especially those called up to support the fight against Corona inside New York City, were thrilled by the announcement.
New York National Guard member currently on duty in New York’s Central Park
“If I’m not in the Guard that means I can just quit, right?” said Specialist Andre D’Angelo, 21, a self-styled “Barracks Lawyer” from Newburgh, NY. “You heard His Honor. If we’re not in the military, then the Uniform Code of Military Justice can’t apply. I’m out… this corona shit can kiss my ass.”
“Modern problems require modern solutions,” agreed Private First Class Joe Gidden from Watertown, NY, adding that he “Only joined the Guard for the college money, anyway.”
Many National Guard soldiers we spoke to shared their fear of contracting COVID-19 will providing support to hard-hit New York City, and were more than happy to head home after Mayor DeBlasio’s announcement.
“Hide yo’ dog, hide yo’ sister, hide yo’ mama… they infectin’ e’ryone out here!” warned Private Jamal Histron from the 369 “Damn Baby Fine” Transportation Support Brigade.
The summary departure of every member of the National Guard from New York City after the NYC mayor’s “They’re not the military” remarks didn’t seem to surprise Mayor DeBlaiso. After all, it’s not the first time that uniformed public servants in New York City turned their backs on “Hizzoner.”
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Article 107 of the military’s Uniform Code of Military Justice covers “False Official Statements.” As our name implies, we are a satirical site, and you shouldn’t think anything we publish is real. You should, however, mercilessly mock anyone who does. You can follow Article 107 News on Twitter at @Article107News. If you’re looking for real news, check out our sister site The Havok Journal. Or you can visit us on Facebook or follow us on Twitter at @HavokJournal.
While Mayor DeBlasio did, in fact, make the idiotic comment that the National Guard “isn’t the military,” all of our Guardsmen supporting the COVID crisis management in New York are still doing their jobs. They, and the thousands of men and women in hospitals, grocery stores, gas stations, take care of our trash, and handle all other manner of essential functions for us around the country that are keeping us safe, fed, fueled, and healthy, have earned our gratitude. THANK YOU.
An Article 107 News Publication
Article 107 of the military’s Uniform Code of Military Justice covers “False Official Statements.” As our name implies, we are a satirical site, and you shouldn’t think anything we publish is real. You should, however, mercilessly mock anyone who does. You can follow Article 107 News on Twitter at @Article107News. If you’re looking for real news, check out our sister site The Havok Journal. Or you can visit us on Facebook or follow us on Twitter at @HavokJournal.
