Trump Vows to Close Pentagon’s “Defense Language Institute,” Replace with “American Language Institute”
by Pablo James
October 26, 2019
JANESVILLE, WI – Speaking at a campaign stop in Wisconsin, Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump, vowed, if elected president, he will close the U.S. Army’s Defense Language Institute – Foreign Language Center (DLI-FLC) located in Monterey, California.
“English… do you SPEAK IT?”
“Using American tax payer money to teach American service members how to speak a language other than American is not how Americans do business,” said the former reality television star. “These are the languages of terrorists, drug dealers, and rapists! This is what seven and a half years of Obama and the liberals have brought us…American soldiers learning Spanish, Arabic, and North Koreanish [sic]!”
The Defense Language Institute has actually been in existence for 75 years, dating back to November 1941 when a select group of U.S. soldiers began learning Japanese in an abandoned hangar at the Presidio of San Francisco. Since then, the Defense Language Institute has taught thousands of service members to speak strategically-needed foreign languages such as Arabic, Persian-Farsi, Russian, and Chinese. Graduates include television personality Montel Williams, former Army pilot Michael Durant, and a former Marine named Josh who works in the Intelligence Community, but refused to reveal in what capacity. (After several drinks, Josh told Article 107 News, “You guys have no idea what I do…I’m a fucking DLI Arabic graduate, man!!!”).
In September 2015, Trump criticized then Republican presidential candidate, Jeb Bush, for speaking Spanish. “I like Jeb,” Trump told reporters, “He’s a nice man. But he really should set the example by speaking English while in the United States.”
Speaking to a cheering crowd, Trump added, “You’ve all heard English. It’s the best language around, I mean really, really excellent. It’s one of the reasons America is so great, because we’ve got the best language. The Founding Fathers created English because they had a vision of how absolutely amazing and successful America could be. It really is the best language.”
The command staff of the Defense Language Institute wisely declined to comment for this report.
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Article 107 of the military’s Uniform Code of Military Justice covers “False Official Statements.” As our name implies, we are a satirical site, and you shouldn’t think anything we publish is real. You should, however, mercilessly mock anyone who does. You can follow Article 107 News on Twitter at @Article107News. If you’re looking for real news, check out our sister site The Havok Journal. Or you can visit us on Facebook or follow us on Twitter at @HavokJournal.