Deployed Army Specialist Excited for Super Bowl’s AFN Commercials
by Chris Lemay
February 1, 2020
BAGRAM AIR BASE, AFGHANISTAN – The Super Bowl, to its many fans, represents the pinnacle of American athletic talent. For others, it is the catalyst for original and innovative commercials. However, for one young specialist, the upcoming Super Bowl represents the opportunity to see the Armed Forces Network’s (AFN) newest public service announcements. SPC Jake Armstrong, of the 422 Combat Support Battalion, has been eagerly awaiting the big game since he first arrived in-country four months ago.
“I was in Korea last year and really developed a passion for AFN’s incredible cinematic productions,” the 42-year-old Army Specialist told Article 107 News. “I consider myself to be an emerging film director and all-around media expert. The moment I saw my first AFN commercial, I knew what I was born to do – I have been put on this planet to write and direct the next generation of informative and entertaining AFN ads.”
SPC Armstrong’s immediate supervisor, SGT Jose Alvarez, confirmed the SPCs unusual film interests. “I don’t know what goes on in that kid’s head. Who wants to watch AFN ads? Those things are nothing but a total waste of time. I can understand a passion for porn, but AFN? It’s crazy!”
Anderson was so excited about watching the AFN commercials that he forgot to shave and was wearing unauthorized headgear. But no one seemed to care.
Anderson’s future screenplay ideas include benefits of computer based training, everyday reflective belt opportunities, little known UCMJ facts, and joy of DTS and the government travel card. Armstrong was last seen trying to finds actors for his upcoming renter’s insurance informational script.
Article 107 of the military’s Uniform Code of Military Justice covers “False Official Statements.” As our name implies, we are a satirical site, and you shouldn’t think anything we publish is real. You should, however, mercilessly mock anyone who does. You can follow Article 107 News on Twitter at @Article107News. If you’re looking for real news, check out our sister site The Havok Journal. Or you can follow us on Twitter at @HavokJournal.