Millions of Liberals Around the Country Refuse to Accept “Trump Money” Stimulus Checks
by Hugh Jashol
May 11, 2020
HOLLYWOOD, CA — Millions of “Not My President” liberals and “Never Trump” conservatives around the country have put their money where their mouths are, and are refusing to accept Congressionally-authorized stimulus checks, dismissing it as “Trump money.”
The great irony, of course, is that all of the rich celebrities and political elites on both sides of the political divide who are out there urging their working-poor followers to turn down the money, were never eligible for it in the first place. That’s because there is an income ceiling for the money; after a certain income level, no money is awarded.
“Upon further review, we found that everyone who is virtue-signaling about not accepting the “Trump money” stimulus checks either took the checks after all, or they made WAY too much money to get a check in the first place. It’s really easy to turn down money you were never going to get in the first place.”
Of course, the average American isn’t going to turn down a $1200 check no matter whose name is on it, as long as it clears. And rich Americans probably spend more than that on their monthly country club dues. But, much like the “I will leave the country if Trump gets elected in 2016” talk, this is another good opportunity to shout “Orange Man Bad.”
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For the record, I took the Trump Money. I would have taken the Obama Money, the Bush Money, and/or the Clinton Money, too. Heck, I’d even take Biden money if it came down to it. I wouldn’t take Bernie money, though. Probably because he’d be taking all my money instead…
An Article 107 News Publication
Article 107 of the military’s Uniform Code of Military Justice covers “False Official Statements.” As our name implies, we are a satirical site, and you shouldn’t think anything we publish is real. You should, however, mercilessly mock anyone who does. You can follow Article 107 News on Twitter at @Article107News. If you’re looking for real news, check out our sister site The Havok Journal. Or you can visit us on Facebook or follow us on Twitter at @HavokJournal.
