After Attack on Mercy Hospital Ship, Navy to Add “Anti-Train” Weapons Systems to All Ships
by Hugh Jashol
NORFOLK, VA — After the hospital ship USNS Comfort narrowly avoided destruction by a rouge cargo train, Navy leaders scrambled to implement anti-train measures throughout the fleet.
Anti-Train Ship Ballistic Active Protective System. Follwing the Navy tradition of using acronyms with far too many syllables, the new system will be known as AnTraBalShiActProSys.
“It seems kind of silly to spend a billion dollars on a contingency that seems not only extremely unlikely, but comepletely failed the first time someone tried to carriy it out. However, this was met with an admonition from a senior Navy official to “shut your filthy Commie mouth.”
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Yes, this is satire, but someone really did try to ram a military hospital ship. With a train.
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Article 107 of the military’s Uniform Code of Military Justice covers “False Official Statements.” As our name implies, we are a satirical site, and you shouldn’t think anything we publish is real. You should, however, mercilessly mock anyone who does. You can follow Article 107 News on Twitter at @Article107News. If you’re looking for real news, check out our sister site The Havok Journal. Or you can visit us on Facebook or follow us on Twitter at @HavokJournal.