Trump to lead Thunderbird Super Bowl Flyover
by Chris Lemay
February 2, 2020
HOUSTON, TX – White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer announced a short time ago that President Trump will lead this year’s Super Bowl flyover as Thunderbird 1. Lt Col Jason Heard, the previous commander of the U.S. Air Force’s elite Thunderbird Air Demonstration Squadron, was relieved of command earlier today after he refused to allow President Trump to fly as mission commander and lead pilot.
Spicer reiterated to members of the media that everything is under control and to not take this incident out of context. “The President has 50 years of experience kicking ass and taking names. It is categorically impossible for his ego to write checks that his body cannot cash. Have you seen the President’s bank account? It’s huge! He can write checks all day. All day!”
When pressed for details regarding the President’s qualifications as a pilot, Kellyanne Conway stated that the President has “alternative qualifications” and that they are exceptional.
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An Article 107 News Publication
Article 107 of the military’s Uniform Code of Military Justice covers “False Official Statements.” As our name implies, we are a satirical site, and you shouldn’t think anything we publish is real. You should, however, mercilessly mock anyone who does. You can follow Article 107 News on Twitter at @Article107News. If you’re looking for real news, check out our sister site The Havok Journal. Or you can visit us on Facebook or follow us on Twitter at @HavokJournal.
