by Maxwell Paddington
NELLIS AFB, NV — Airmen at Nellis Air Force Base, Nevada, can now enjoy the services of a tattoo parlor called the “American Tattoo Society”, which opened earlier this month. Air Force spokesman Lt. Col. Bryon McGarry said Thursday, “The establishment of a tattoo parlor on Nellis AFB is tied directly to Airmen morale.“
The base also has plans to open the “American Spa Society” where airmen can treat themselves to facials, mani-pedis, and relaxing mud baths and is considering the merits of opening an on-base casino along with a shuttle service to several of Nevada’s legal brothels throughout the state.
Morale on Nellis AFB, measured in command climate surveys, is projected to increase 300%.
______________________________
Article 107 of the military’s Uniform Code of Military Justice covers “False Official Statements.” As our name implies, we are a satirical site, and you shouldn’t think anything we publish is real. You should, however, mercilessly mock anyone who does. You can follow Article 107 News on Twitter at @Article107News. If you’re looking for real news, check out our sister site The Havok Journal. Or you can visit us on Facebook or follow us on Twitter at @HavokJournal.
An Article 107 News Publication
Article 107 of the military’s Uniform Code of Military Justice covers “False Official Statements.” As our name implies, we are a satirical site, and you shouldn’t think anything we publish is real. You should, however, mercilessly mock anyone who does. You can follow Article 107 News on Twitter at @Article107News. If you’re looking for real news, check out our sister site The Havok Journal. Or you can visit us on Facebook or follow us on Twitter at @HavokJournal.
