by Maxwell Paddington
WASHINGTON, D.C. — A bus-sized asteroid flew past Earth last week. The object, known as 2020 SW, streaked just 13,000 miles above the Earth on September 24th, according to a NASA spokesperson. This “near miss” was closer than the artificial satellites in orbit around our planet.
“This is Trump’s asteroid!” said Biden campaign manager Nadia Seymour. “We were lucky this time, but Trump should have done more to protect the planet… he has no plan.”
When asked what actions the President should have taken, Ms. Seymour answered: “Asteroids matter! A Harris-Biden administration would reallocate NASA funds and incorporate asteroids into mandatory nationwide diversity training.”
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An Article 107 News Publication
Article 107 of the military’s Uniform Code of Military Justice covers “False Official Statements.” As our name implies, we are a satirical site, and you shouldn’t think anything we publish is real. You should, however, mercilessly mock anyone who does. You can follow Article 107 News on Twitter at @Article107News. If you’re looking for real news, check out our sister site The Havok Journal. Or you can visit us on Facebook or follow us on Twitter at @HavokJournal.
