by Maxwell Paddington
CLEVELAND, OH — In preparation for tonight’s Presidential debate at Case Western Reserve University and Cleveland Clinic in Cleveland, Biden is reportedly verbally sparring with a half-dozen heads of cabbage at a local area Safeway. Despite Biden’s apparent 10-point lead over Trump in the polls, Democrat strategists are taking no chances.
“We are confident Joe will come out on top tonight,” said Biden campaign manager Nick O’Teen. “He’s been holding his own against multiple heads of some very fresh produce and almost ready to move onto pumpkins for an extra dose of realism.”
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An Article 107 News Publication
Article 107 of the military’s Uniform Code of Military Justice covers “False Official Statements.” As our name implies, we are a satirical site, and you shouldn’t think anything we publish is real. You should, however, mercilessly mock anyone who does. You can follow Article 107 News on Twitter at @Article107News. If you’re looking for real news, check out our sister site The Havok Journal. Or you can visit us on Facebook or follow us on Twitter at @HavokJournal.
