California Gov. Gavin Newsom Seeks $1 Trillion in Federal Aid to Install Virtue Signals at all 4-Way Stops
by Maxwell Paddington
May 20, 2020
SACRAMENTO, CA — Yesterday, Gov. Gavin Newsom sent a letter to Congress requesting $1 Trillion in federal aid–signed by more than 100 business leaders for the installation of virtue signals at all of the state’s 4-way stops. Citing a projected $54 billion budget deficit, Newsom stated the additional aid must be provided in the wake of the economic devastation caused by COVID-19. “We’re not looking for charity, we’re not looking for hand-outs…we believe this is ‘social responsibility’,” said Newsom.
During an interview with CNBC’s Melissa Lee, Newsom was asked if the $54 billion shortfall was actually due to the coronavirus shutdown, as steep deficits had always loomed in the next recession. Lee referred to a 2019 report from the Public Policy Institute of California (pre-COVID), which estimated that, even in a moderate downturn, the state would face revenue shortfalls averaging more than $22 billion a year for the next four years. Again referencing the report, she added: and “for a severe recession—as we may now be facing—the study projected revenue losses of $170 billion stretching over five yea–.”
Newsom then abruptly interrupted Lee, insisting in a raised tone that, despite the cost, without the virtue signals: “public health, public safety is impacted, public education is impacted…very directly. That doesn’t need to happen.”
When Lee asked “playing Devil’s advocate”, why the Federal government should bail out California with additional stimulus, as the state is already to receive more than $26 billion in federal aid, Newsom stated that California’s budget deficit was a “shared responsibility”.
Flushed with aggressive compassion, Newsom reiterated the virtue signals were essential: “for public safety, our first responders, our police officers, our fire fighters…they are essential as any parent, I’ve got four children, can attest to–of our teachers, our public educators, our nurses, our doctors, those frontline county workers, city workers that could be potentially impacted if we walk away from this moment.”
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An Article 107 News Publication
Article 107 of the military’s Uniform Code of Military Justice covers “False Official Statements.” As our name implies, we are a satirical site, and you shouldn’t think anything we publish is real. You should, however, mercilessly mock anyone who does. You can follow Article 107 News on Twitter at @Article107News. If you’re looking for real news, check out our sister site The Havok Journal. Or you can visit us on Facebook or follow us on Twitter at @HavokJournal.
