Government Employees Now “Not Working” from Home Instead of at Work
by Hugh Jashol
WASHINGTON, D.C. – Tens of thousands of “non-essential” government workers across the nation’s capitol were sent home last week, with a directive to “work from home.” Strangely, the country noticed no drop in capacity or level of customer service, leading many to wonder what all of these people were actually doing at “work” on the government dime in the first place.
While some conscientious and genuinely hard-working government employees were upset about not being able to do the jobs they dedicated years of their lives to, most employees we spoke to had a general attitude of “meh,” especially since their paychecks are going to keep coming.
“Look, if you want me to stream porn and do soduku all day at home instead of at my governent job, I’ll do it. I mean, the pay is still the same…” said Biff Jenkins, a career employee of the Bureau of Labor Statistics. “It’s not like I’m doing any less work now than I would be doing in the office.”