Pentagon’s “Unidentified Aerial Phenomena” Determined to be “COVID Clusters” as Virus Adapts to Better Protect Itself by Maxwell Paddington
April 29, 2020
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Government officials authorized the release of three videos containing footage of “unidentified aerial phenomena” (UAP) on Monday. In a statement released by the Pentagon, after further review, the images were determined to be “COVID Clusters”. Medical scientists speculate the virus has mutated into “flocks” to better protect itself from potential vaccines and social distancing measures; similar to how fish evolved to swim in schools to better defend against predators and improve foraging.
Scientists are seeing a variety of mutations. The virus pictured here wears a breast cancer awareness protein coat in an effort to be more appealing to potential hosts.
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Article 107 of the military’s Uniform Code of Military Justice covers “False Official Statements.” As our name implies, we are a satirical site, and you shouldn’t think anything we publish is real. You should, however, mercilessly mock anyone who does. You can follow Article 107 News on Twitter at @Article107News. If you’re looking for real news, check out our sister site The Havok Journal.Or you can visit us on Facebook or follow us on Twitter at @HavokJournal.
