Two Satellites May Collide Over Pittsburgh Tonight: Republicans and Democrats Blame Each Other
by Untactic Al
January 29, 2020
It was reported today that two dead satellites have a 10 percent chance of colliding with each other tonight over Pittsburgh PA. One is NASA’s Infrared Astronomical Satellite which ran out of fuel in 1983 and the other is USAF’s GGSE-4 Gravitational Experiment which was launched in 1967. The two will pass within 43–285 feet of each other at around 1840 Eastern time.
NASA and Air Force officials quickly began damage control initiatives, with each placing blame on the other for lack of foresight and proper planning.
The Society for the Protection of Innocent and Abandoned Space Objects filed suit in Federal Court in Washington D.C. for the blatant aggression and assault by an Industrial Defense Complex space weapon against a peace-loving civilian space telescope which was showing no threat and just minding its own business.
The Mayor of Pittsburgh complained about the danger posed by falling debris while the rest of the nation thought it could only improve the scenery.
Meanwhile, North Korea, Syria, and Iran are taking credit for the downing of both satellites.
And Republicans and Democrats are blaming each other.
_______________________________________
Prior to joining the Article 107 News Team, Untactic Al had a controversial and checkered 36-year career in the United States Air Force. He recently received his DD-214 blankie. The fact that he made it as far as he did merely illustrates the incompetence of his leadership.
Article 107 of the military’s Uniform Code of Military Justice covers “False Official Statements.” As our name implies, we are a satirical site, and you shouldn’t think anything we publish is real. You should, however, mercilessly mock anyone who does. You can follow Article 107 News on Twitter at @Article107News. If you’re looking for real news, check out our sister site The Havok Journal. Or you can visit us on Facebook or follow us on Twitter at @HavokJournal
An Article 107 News Publication
Article 107 of the military’s Uniform Code of Military Justice covers “False Official Statements.” As our name implies, we are a satirical site, and you shouldn’t think anything we publish is real. You should, however, mercilessly mock anyone who does. You can follow Article 107 News on Twitter at @Article107News. If you’re looking for real news, check out our sister site The Havok Journal. Or you can visit us on Facebook or follow us on Twitter at @HavokJournal.
