U.S. Space Force Uniform Unveiled
by Untactic Al
January 20, 2020
WASHINGTON, D.C. – A few days ago, Air Force officials debuted the uniform design for the recently founded U.S. Space Force, which utilizes current uniform stock, in this case OCPs (Operational Camouflage Pattern uniform). The less-than-median range intelligentsia that populates social media with their smart devices once again illustrates that something smart can be successfully operated by someone who isn’t. Pilots are another example of this phenomena. The majority of the nonsensical regurgitations read something like this:
“Why woodland camouflage? Space is pitch black. Why wouldn’t they issue black uniforms?”
The implication being that the DoD is filled with a pack of morons. Honestly, I totally agree with their implication but for different reasons, the dissertation of which would take too long to write. Now I could go on and on about the correct logic for utilizing existing uniform stock but cooler heads than mine have already point out those reasons. But I would like to take a moment to point out a few things that the Social Media Slug Suckers have failed to consider.
Firstly, taxpayers would have been outraged at the Air Force for spending billions of dollars to research and design a new uniform, when there were plenty of perfectly good uniforms in stock. So many things in this country have become, “damned if you do, damned if you don’t”.
Secondly, anyone who has been in the military for a major uniform change knows what a pain it is, and rarely does a new uniform end up being an improvement. And it’s years of trials, suggestions, arguing, articles in the services papers, internet, people talking in break rooms for hours on end, and then people fighting to be the first Jack Dog to get a set. So yeah – I see why they went with OCPs.
And lastly, I’d like to address the idea of black uniforms in space. You social media smart device dweebs have more information available instantly with a touch of a button than at any other time in world history. And yet you never seem to push that button, unless it’s some headline with a Kardashian in it. And apparently you skipped college physics class or were trying to look up that cute girls skirt when you should have been paying attention to energy absorption by different colors. Wait – I think that’s Middle School science material! So Britnee or Lance, tell me what would happen if we made an astronaut uniform black? Don’t know? Well how about we make one for you and send you up on the next mission and let you space walk on the sunny side? Did you happen to notice that all space vehicles, satellites, and space stations are either white or reflective? Wanna know why? Skip the Kardashians and use that smart device to learn something before commenting on a post.
“It’s better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.”
Attributed to Abraham Lincoln but probably incorrectly. (Do some research before you set your phasers to “Vaporize”)
Prior to joining the Article 107 News Team, Untactic Al had a controversial and checkered 36-year career in the United States Air Force. He recently received his DD-214 blankie. The fact that he made it as far as he did merely illustrates the incompetence of his leadership.
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