by Maxwell Paddington
FORT BRAGG, NC — Yesterday, Lt. Col. James Jones took command of the Army’s newest PSYOP Battalion, the 1st Social Justice Warfare (SJW) Battalion, pledging the unit’s commitment to disrupting America’s enemies through disunity in three stages.
“Together, we will convince our enemies that they must understand racism and then admit they cannot understand racism,” said Jones. “Next they will admit their complicity in racism and pledge to do better knowing that it is impossible to do better. And finally, they will become an ally, yet accept they can never do enough.”
The unit crest is a limp fist with the motto: “Divide and Conquer.”
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An Article 107 News Publication
Article 107 of the military’s Uniform Code of Military Justice covers “False Official Statements.” As our name implies, we are a satirical site, and you shouldn’t think anything we publish is real. You should, however, mercilessly mock anyone who does. You can follow Article 107 News on Twitter at @Article107News. If you’re looking for real news, check out our sister site The Havok Journal. Or you can visit us on Facebook or follow us on Twitter at @HavokJournal.