World Health Organization Acknowledges “Violent Rioting” Totally Cures COVID-19, NC Public Health Officials Demonstrate Proper Self-Application
by Hugh Jashol
June 2, 2020
GENEVA, SWITZERLAND — It turned out that the cure was right in front of us, all this time.
“You see, setting one’s own city on fire purifies the surrounding area of all COVID-19 for a 12-mile radius. And by looting supplies, individual citizens can take care and recovery into their own hands, without having to deal with repressive capitalism and their Big Pharma lapdogs,” said Tedros Adhanom, Director General of the World Health Organization.
This aligns with democratic states and cities reversal of strict COVID lockdown policies in favor of permitting rioting, looting and destruction of their constituents’ communities.
“The flames of freedom burn brightest in Democratically-controlled cities and states,” said Nancy Pelosi in a zoom video broadcasting from her cozy San Francisco mansion. “The Trump administration failed to act during this COVID crises, so it was up to us to take charge by doing nothing, to let the cure ripple across the country.”
Darwin A. Ward, a Fayetteville, NC public health official, demonstrated proper self-application of the cure. See here.
_______________________
An Article 107 News Publication
Article 107 of the military’s Uniform Code of Military Justice covers “False Official Statements.” As our name implies, we are a satirical site, and you shouldn’t think anything we publish is real. You should, however, mercilessly mock anyone who does. You can follow Article 107 News on Twitter at @Article107News. If you’re looking for real news, check out our sister site The Havok Journal. Or you can visit us on Facebook or follow us on Twitter at @HavokJournal.