#YouToo? We Should “Believe All Women”: Unless They Accuse Democrats
by Hugh Jashol
May 4, 2020
ATLANTA, GA (CNN Headquarters) — The entire Woke Nation was up in arms when old footage aired of Donald Trump claiming that he could grab a women “by her pussy,” and rightly so. But those same shrill “pussy-hat” wearing #MeToo political opportunists are now appearing to give a “get out of misogyny free” pass to Joe Biden, someone who actually did it.
Virtue-signaling social justice warriors across the country were all quick to jump onto the “believe all women” bandwagon, and beat the #MeToo drum, even if those claims are not only unprovable, but demonstrably false, as was the case with Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh. However, hardcore liberal leftists and the mainstream media (which, lets face it, are virtually the same at this point), have been conspicuously quiet when decades-old allegations are leveled against “their guy” instead of “the other guy.”
This has given rise to accusations of hypocrisy within the liberal ranks, and the emergence of the #YouToo hashtag to identify the “believe-all-women-unless-they-say-something-we-don’t-like” hypocrites. In the meantime, woke-warriors are rushing to defend themselves against the charges, and to explain away the difference in reactions between the Kavanaugh allegations and the (much-more-substantiated) ones against Biden.
“See, this is totally different,” explained perpetually-aggrieved and self-appointed #MeToo spokeswoman and actress Alyssa Milano. “Kavanaugh is a conservative. And because of that, anything anyone wants to say about him is automatically true. But anything anyone says about a liberal is always a vast right-wing conspiracy plot.”
Oh, well at least we cleared that up.
#YouToo, Alyssa Milano. You, too.
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Yes, we wrote this as satire. But it’s dangerously (and unfortunately) close to the truth…